Solomon warns us in Proverbs about the power of our words.[1] James makes it clear as well, and so does Jesus.[2] It comes down to a simple rule: “Don’t say that mean thing that every part of you wants to say, even if you believe with your entire being that what you want to say is true.”
If I want to say something critical, I don’t. If I’ve thought about the issue in depth and really don’t want to say the critical thing, then maybe I should, but even then, I try to avoid saying it. I don’t need to say it if I know, deep down, my spouse already knows it. Criticism kills intimacy. Recognize the power of your words and avoid criticizing whenever you can.
[1] Proverbs 21:23, Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 10:19, and so many more.
[2] James 3:2-10 and James 1:26; Matthew 12:33-37