For men, the most important anatomical fact you will ever learn is the exact location of the clitoris. Found one inch above the entrance to the vagina, the clitoris has a pea sized head located at the end of a short shaft about one-inch in length. Unlike the penis, the clitoris doesn’t contain an opening for urination. That urethra opening is located between the vaginal opening and the clitoris.
An astounding number of men are clitoris-clueless and never get their spouse to orgasm. If you’re not sure of the exact location, find it during your next sexual escapade. Go on a hunting trip.
But before you start this excursion, let’s make sure you’ve got the right supplies. You need good lubrication, and options abound. KY Jelly remains an old standby. It is water based, cheap, and you can buy it at the grocery store. A more specialized silicon lube, such as Passion Lube, lubricates longer and feels less sticky. You can buy Passion Lube online through Amazon and at some drugstores.
Avoid oil based lubes like Vaseline. The oil clogs pores, limiting the vagina’s ability to cleanse itself and inviting infection. Oil lubes can also damage latex condoms, and they are sticky and gross. So pony up and get some decent personal lubricant to set for the ready on your nightstand.
Now, back to clitoris hunting. After some preliminaries (moving toward sexual arousal) take a well lubricated finger and find the vagina opening. We should all know where that is. Then move up the body slightly, just an inch or so, and feel that little shaft. It’ll feel like you’re running your finger over a coffee stirrer—or maybe a straw if she’s excited.
Gently touch the clitoris shaft and head. Go with a slow, gentle, lightly caressing motion. Be careful with this super-sensitive spot. You will likely feel it enlarge a bit (though it doesn’t on all women) and get harder (kind of like a penis).