The reason I’m sure God wasn’t a civil engineer is that he ran a sewer line right through the middle of a recreational zone. What was he thinking? Well, some folks assume that septic discharging anus pipe should maybe have some in flow as well.

Like every other sexual decision, what you do with Uranus is between you and your spouse. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind, though:

1.     If this is new to you, start gently with fingerplay. Use lots of lube and only go around the edges or maybe in up to one finger joint. The anus has a different elasticity than the vagina and doesn’t stretch and lubricate nearly as well.

2.     Since the anus is full of nerve endings (hemorrhoid sufferers can attest), some folks love some finger play around the anus near orgasm time.

3.     Even though long term spouses probably share similar gut bacteria, fecal matter transfer can still cause some nasty prostate, urinary tract or other type infections. A condom should always be worn for anal intercourse.[1]

4.     If you are going to have anal intercourse, use lots of lube and go very slow in and out. Also, be careful how far the penis goes in. Again, the anus operates much differently than the vagina. If you’re poking around down there, be gentle, and ask for lots of feedback.

5.     Conventional wisdom tells the woman to relax if she’s going to be receiving a penis up her backside. If your husband pushes you for anal intercourse and you’re hesitant, I’d suggest you try a his-penis-sized dildo up the man’s backside first so he can show you how to relax. Avoid sticking carrots or cucumbers up there as they may break off, then you’ve got some ER “splaining” to do.

Since the sphincter muscles excel at squeezing closed and capturing things, be careful not to lose any toys up there. Again, the ER trip just isn’t worth it.  

[1] Guide to Getting It On, 373-4.