Getting yourself in the mood for sex can be enhanced through the use of erotic stories or visuals. You and your spouse might enjoy paging through Vogue magazine together, looking at the beautiful people wearing high fashion. Or perhaps you might like to read a titillating story to get your motor running. Sometimes the love scenes in a movie will put you in the mood. Even sharing a fantasy or recalling a sexy memory can do the trick.
I group all these sexual turn-ons under the label “stories.” Pornography also falls into this category. But let’s first address pornography as a separate item. While it’s certainly arousing for most folks, it doesn’t seem very God-honoring. I know, I know; it seems I’ve taken the libertine view on almost every sexual subject so why draw the line at porn? Here’s why:
· The actors in the films seem fake—particularly all those pretend female orgasms.
· The films are made for camera angles; they don’t illustrate the way real people have sex. Porn is terrible as an instructional video (“Let me pull my penis out of your butt and put it right in your mouth” isn’t a good plan).
· Porn is like watching a baseball game with only third base and home plate. Real great sex spends lots of fun time on foreplay.
· Ejaculating on to your partner’s face (“cream pies”) is just rude.
Also, porn can become an addiction for many men. Loads of family misery can come from an addiction to pornography. Why take the risk when there are so many other great ways to get turned-on and enjoy sex with your partner?
Back to erotic stories: I made a list of ways to engage with erotic stories:
1. Movies: Watching a movie together can be a wonderful way to prepare for fun sex. Maybe a comedy will relax you. Maybe a romance will do the trick. Here are some movies I recommend:
a. The Well Diggers Daughter
b. The African Queen
c. Bread and Tulips
d. It Happened One Night
f. Bringing Up Baby
g. To Rome with Love
h. Some Like it Hot
2. Erotic stories: Reading erotica, either out loud to your partner or reading your own story to yourself, can be a turn on.
3. Role playing: Make up your own erotic stories and act them out together. Perhaps you’re lying on a deserted beach in the Caribbean.
4. Erotic images: Looking at images together and talking about what you like can be sexy. Try getting frisky with Pinterest.
Remember to be cautious when making any foray into erotica. Try to walk that line between things that are sexy and things that are also God honoring. For example, reading a story about a spouse having an affair may be steamy, but it may motivate you in a direction you don’t want to go. Lots of erotica is like that, so be careful to avoid it.
But you don’t necessarily need to avoid all of it. Just be careful and selective. Some Christian erotica at GreatSexChristianStyle.com may work for you, but you or your spouse may find it offensive while I find it perfectly God-honoring. As for everything in life, listen for the Holy Spirit’s guidance.