Great Sex, Christian Style
Introduction.
I’m much better at sex than my wife. I achieve orgasm every single time. She only does sometimes.[1]
Years ago I obsessed over this dilemma. Now I know better. I wrote this book to help you know better: how to better enjoy sex, to learn God’s views about sex, and how to not be a jerk about sex.
If you believe in God, perhaps you believe as I do that God made all people sacred. He created us in his image and has important plans for each of us. God made procreation happen in a funny, sweaty, rolling-around manner that seems anything but sacred. Sex shows God’s sense of humor. Hippopotamuses and giraffes do a pretty good job at that too.
Do you remember when you first learned about sex? Do you remember being incredulous? Years ago, I took four of our female sheep to a neighbor’s ram for breeding. My eight-year-old daughter rode along with me to the farm. We let the ewes into the pasture and they scurried down to the far end.
The ram was at the opposite end of the field. His nose went up in the air, he caught a whiff of sweet, and he sprinted across the field. He immediately mounted one of the ewes (not much foreplay for sheep) and did his job.
My daughter was watching all this, and I realized I had a chance to teach. I explained in general terms that what she just saw was part of the circle of life, and that’s where the baby lambs will come from. She looked at me and said, “Do you and Mom do that?”
I stammered, “Uh, well, yeah. Pretty much.”
That was the first and last question she ever asked me about sex. I told that story to a shy friend years ago, and he told me he was going to be sure to raise his children in such a way that they would never ask him that question.
I wrote this book to help my readers explore the fun and beauty of sex while learning more about God. I’ll warn you from the onset: I’m an all-in Christian, not an armchair traveler. The Bible tells us to be strong and courageous. Fear, laziness, and selfishness are the enemy. If you think Christian sex consists of avoiding sin and judging others, you’re in for a long ride here. But, if those are your beliefs, perhaps it’s the only long ride you’ll get.
I love the theology of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. A biographer sums it up with the following quote:
Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively doing God’s will.[2]
So we’re going real-world in this book—not gentle theories. The practical information I provide will make some of you blush. I admit, that fact makes me much happier than it should, but that’s my problem.
Please take everything I write (or anybody writes) with healthy skepticism. Perhaps I can point you in a direction that works for you. Hopefully I can make you laugh. I certainly make myself laugh.
For example, my high school yearbook lists my likes as “sex and money” and my dislikes as “promiscuity and materialism.” That still makes me laugh and shows the weirdo that is me. From that kooky dichotomy, I organize this book:
Odd numbered chapters: Physical Sex Tips (the practical)
Even numbered chapters: Bible Study and Emotional Analysis on Sex and Marriage (the theoretical)
If you just care about the sex tips, read the odd numbered chapters. If you only care about Biblical analysis and not sex—in which case, I “put pity on you”—read the even chapters. My hope is that you want to have great sex and know God’s view on it. If that’s you, read the book straight through.
You may wonder—as does my wife—why I wrote this book. The answer is simple: I wrote it because no one else has. Pastors can’t; they’d get fired. Famous Christian authors don’t because Christian book stores don’t carry controversy. I wrote it because somebody needed to.
I’m a layman, not a theologian, scholar, or sex therapist. Christianity has a wonderful tradition of layman writing, from John Bunyan to C.S. Lewis.[3] I hope to honor that tradition.
Why should you read my book? For one, you and your spouse can cultivate a thrilling love relationship with the tips, tricks, and knowledge I share in these pages. Competence, silliness, enthusiasm, and kindness all matter greatly when it comes to sex. I want to help you develop those attributes and continually improve your sex life. I will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and learn to innovate.
I also want you to learn God’s views about sex and marriage…even if they don’t jive with what you’ve been taught. You’ll discover that it’s not just a list of simple rules.
If God wanted us to live by simple rules, the Bible would be about 20 pages long. Know that living a God-focused life will require courage and faith—not simply blind rule following. The same will be true with your marriage.
I’m a practical guy. We’re going to cover specifics of what to do and how to do it. We’re going to push the boundaries of our understanding. We’re going to get laid! So let’s get right into some practical facts that will get you feeling better than you ever have.
[1] Are you reading this footnote to check Debby’s rate of orgasm? If so, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that.” This note is to give credit to Ron White, who used a similar joke in his comedy routine, which helped inspire me to write this book.
[2] Eric Metaxas, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy: a Righteous Gentile vs. the Third Reich (Nashville, TN, Thomas Nelson, 2010), p. 486.
[3] John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim’s Progress in the 1600s, one of the most read books ever written. If you haven’t read it, you should. C.S. Lewis wrote dozens of amazing books and essays.
Want to Read More? Get your copy of Great Sex, Christian Style on Amazon! Click the button below!
Reviews.
“A great combination of historical facts, anatomy and practical sex advice for dummies…reads like a cold beer on a hot summer day.”
“Until I started reading this book I was happily ignorant with regard to the depth of my selfishness and laziness as a lover. So, thanks for that.”
“I would have never written this book. I don’t have the guts. I don’t even agree with everything, but I do think you should read it. It will make you think. It will improve your marriage and it will help you understand God better.”
“Growing up in a conservative Christian family, this was not a conversation we had at home or in church. In fact, it wasn’t even a permitted topic for internal reflection. I married my husband as a 21-year-old virgin who wasn’t completely sure of the workings of my own anatomy. Bible college perhaps prepared me for submission (giant eye roll) but not a thoughtful and intentional approach to sex. I appreciate Ned’s honesty and forthrightness in touching a subject that few are brave enough to confront. I admire the way Ned did it in an approachable, humble way, which made it less awkward for the reader.”
“Thoughtful, original, and leavened with (sometimes outrageous) humor.”
“Ned Pelger does the most important thing an author can do: he writes honestly about scary things. And he’s funny about it.”
“I’m reading this and laughing my buttocks off (or words to that effect)!”
“At first glance, Ned’s book appears to be about sex and indeed it is quite intimate. But upon further review, it also seems to me that the book is about our relationship with God, our relationships with each other, and what great joys can be found therein. The Song of Solomon section reminded me of the joke about a guy doing an ink blot Rorschach test with a psychiatrist. The first picture he sees a woman’s breasts, then a woman bent over, then a vulva and so on. The shrink says, ‘Sir, you seem to have an obsession with sex.’ The guys replies, ‘Me? You’re the one showing the dirty pictures!”
“WOW. Ned is up to his old humorous self and tackles a forbidden topic in most Christian circles with gusto and amazing intimacy. I never knew a Bible study could be so fun, exciting…and graphic!! I don’t agree with all of his conclusions, but I do agree wholeheartedly with Ned that love, grace, and respect must be the foundation for all relationships. Way to go, Ned, for laying it on the line and giving us an engineer’s perspective on one of God’s greatest creations!”
“Ned is sick. He sent me a review copy of this book knowing I am dyslexic. I spent weeks trying to get past the first paragraph. There are not enough photos!”
“Quite novel and fun, though likely controversial by those much more serious and scholarly than myself; that’s probably good for a book.”
“What leads one to write a book like this? Perhaps 40 years of monogamous Christian sex?”
“I realize I spent way too much time in my first 40 years on the odd chapters (how to do sex better) and really only found great and soul satisfying sex the last twenty years when I worked much harder on the even chapters. It isn’t the sex that makes the relationship, it’s the relationship that makes the sex. Feel free to use my name. I doubt too many people will ever see it.”
“Very well done! Who doesn’t like to read about sex? Great research throughout the book. A superb and incomparable Biblical perspective on sex, including how-to techniques. Audaciously explicit. Discretion is advised if considering as a coffee table book!”
“Finally a book that takes the lid of the awkwardness of sexual discussion—a book that both sexes can engage in. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry—you’ll get it on!”
“As an engineer, I’m used to being told to loosen up…which is essentially what this book told me. While I didn’t agree with everything, my convictions were challenged and that’s a good thing. And while my wife and I have a good sex life, I’m encouraged that it can be even better.”
“Ned Pelger delivers a clear, concise, and compelling message in his naturally humorous writing style. He goes ‘deep with the little things’ that can enrich your sex experiences…and maybe your faith and marriage. Be ready for a few jaw-dropping moments. I strongly encourage anyone to buy Great Sex, Christian Style. Oh, and remember to make your bed!”
“A surprisingly wry approach to a topic with a high squirm quotient, Great Sex, Christian Style is part marriage manual, part philosophical tract. But it’s also a deeply felt, personal account of the author’s journey from judgment to acceptance, offered to the reader with love.”
“Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but I needed a week to recover after trying all the positions from Ned’s book! It’s one of the most hilarious compendiums of adult toys, positions, and the affected human anatomy I have ever seen. I laughed so hard I had an orgasm. This is a must read for every marriage counselor, rabbi, priest, and newlywed couple. Ned’s wife is a saint for putting up with him…I know mine is, especially after I showed her page 72. What a titillating journey through the silliness of sex and relationships.”
Book Graphics
Need a closer look at the graphics in the book? We've got you covered.
Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Chapter 2