Great Sex, Christian Style
I’m much better at sex than my wife. I achieve orgasm every single time. She only does sometimes.
Years ago I obsessed over this dilemma. Now I know better. I wrote this book to help you know better: how to better enjoy sex, to learn God’s views about sex, and how to not be a jerk about sex.
If you believe in God, perhaps you believe as I do that God made all people sacred. He created us in his image and has important plans for each of us. God made procreation happen in a funny, sweaty, rolling-around manner that seems anything but sacred. Sex shows God’s sense of humor. Hippopotamuses and giraffes do a pretty good job at that too.
Do you remember when you first learned about sex? Do you remember being incredulous? Years ago, I took four of our female sheep to a neighbor’s ram for breeding. My eight-year-old daughter rode along with me to the farm. We let the ewes into the pasture and they scurried down to the far end.
The ram was at the opposite end of the field. His nose went up in the air, he caught a whiff of sweet, and he sprinted across the field. He immediately mounted one of the ewes (not much foreplay for sheep) and did his job.
My daughter was watching all this, and I realized I had a chance to teach. I explained in general terms that what she just saw was part of the circle of life, and that’s where the baby lambs will come from. She looked at me and said, “Do you and Mom do that?”
I stammered, “Uh, well, yeah. Pretty much.”
That was the first and last question she ever asked me about sex. I told that story to a shy friend years ago, and he told me he was going to be sure to raise his children in such a way that they would never ask him that question.
I wrote this book to help my readers explore the fun and beauty of sex while learning more about God. I’ll warn you from the onset: I’m an all-in Christian, not an armchair traveler. The Bible tells us to be strong and courageous. Fear, laziness, and selfishness are the enemy. If you think Christian sex consists of avoiding sin and judging others, you’re in for a long ride here. But, if those are your beliefs, perhaps it’s the only long ride you’ll get.
I love the theology of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. A biographer sums it up with the following quote:
Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively doing God’s will.
So we’re going real-world in this book—not gentle theories. The practical information I provide will make some of you blush. I admit, that fact makes me much happier than it should, but that’s my problem.
Please take everything I write (or anybody writes) with healthy skepticism. Perhaps I can point you in a direction that works for you. Hopefully I can make you laugh. I certainly make myself laugh.
For example, my high school yearbook lists my likes as “sex and money” and my dislikes as “promiscuity and materialism.” That still makes me laugh and shows the weirdo that is me. From that kooky dichotomy, I organize this book:
Odd numbered chapters: Physical Sex Tips (the practical)
Even numbered chapters: Bible Study and Emotional Analysis on Sex and Marriage (the theoretical)
If you just care about the sex tips, read the odd numbered chapters. If you only care about Biblical analysis and not sex—in which case, I “put pity on you”—read the even chapters. My hope is that you want to have great sex and know God’s view on it. If that’s you, read the book straight through.
You may wonder—as does my wife—why I wrote this book. The answer is simple: I wrote it because no one else has. Pastors can’t; they’d get fired. Famous Christian authors don’t because Christian book stores don’t carry controversy. I wrote it because somebody needed to.
I’m a layman, not a theologian, scholar, or sex therapist. Christianity has a wonderful tradition of layman writing, from John Bunyan to C.S. Lewis. I hope to honor that tradition.
Why should you read my book? For one, you and your spouse can cultivate a thrilling love relationship with the tips, tricks, and knowledge I share in these pages. Competence, silliness, enthusiasm, and kindness all matter greatly when it comes to sex. I want to help you develop those attributes and continually improve your sex life. I will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and learn to innovate.
I also want you to learn God’s views about sex and marriage…even if they don’t jive with what you’ve been taught. You’ll discover that it’s not just a list of simple rules.
If God wanted us to live by simple rules, the Bible would be about 20 pages long. Know that living a God-focused life will require courage and faith—not simply blind rule following. The same will be true with your marriage.
I’m a practical guy. We’re going to cover specifics of what to do and how to do it. We’re going to push the boundaries of our understanding. We’re going to get laid! So let’s get right into some practical facts that will get you feeling better than you ever have.
 Are you reading this footnote to check Debby’s rate of orgasm? If so, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that.” This note is to give credit to Ron White, who used a similar joke in his comedy routine, which helped inspire me to write this book.
 Eric Metaxas, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy: a Righteous Gentile vs. the Third Reich (Nashville, TN, Thomas Nelson, 2010), p. 486.
 John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim’s Progress in the 1600s, one of the most read books ever written. If you haven’t read it, you should. C.S. Lewis wrote dozens of amazing books and essays.
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