I’ve mentioned several times that male masturbation tends toward “Grab it hard and whack it good.” So is that the best approach for a woman to take to satisfy her lover? Not necessarily. Try for a higher standard. Think how much he’d appreciate some amazing hand job techniques. Think about the possibility of providing manual pleasure beyond his own masturbation methods…beyond “if you use your left hand, it feels like someone else is doing it.”

I’ve borrowed heavily from the Pleasure Mechanics for this section.[1] Their video titled “Male Arousal Part 1: Handjobs” provides a visual instruction guide for pleasuring a man.[2] Here’s a taste of their instructions for how to touch and stimulate a penis. I put this in list format and included many of my own ideas as well.

Warming up the penis: Get blood flowing for maximum sensitivity and firmest erections.

1.     Position: Start by sitting between his legs, facing him. You may want to sit on a stool or chair and have him sit on the edge of the bed or sofa.

2.     Preparation: Have a lubricant ready (silicon based Passion Lube, KY Jelly, or even coconut oil work well) and a cloth under him or sheets that you don’t mind getting lubey.

3.     Finger and Thumb Massage: Start at the penis base and knead with finger and thumb on either side of the penis. Work up slowly and come to just below the head before working back down. Continue this on other sides of the penis—up, then down. This isn’t a particularly erotic feeling, but it massages penis tissue and gets blood flowing into it.

4.     Penis Stretches: Gently pull the penis up to the belly, stretching the connecting tissue. This is the noon position; pull the penis over to 3:00, 6:00, 9:00 and back to noon. If you know how to drive a manual transmission, try shifting up and down the gears. Again, don’t take too long with this, as it isn’t overly erotic, but get the blood flowing. This might be a chance to laugh together at some silly fun.

5.     Thumb Circles: Start at the base of the penis with both thumbs on his shaft. Rotate your right thumb clockwise and your left thumb counterclockwise. Think Karate Kid: wax on, whacks off. Slowly move up the penis shaft, continuing the thumb circles, and massage the penis tissue deeply. Stop just below the head. Remember, we are still in the warm up stage. When you get to the head, gently trail a finger down either side of his shaft. If you haven’t added lube yet, now is a good time to add some.

6.     Fingers Up: Use a light touch to gently run your fingers slowly from the base to just below the head. Try increased pressure. Try different speeds.

7.     Scrotum and Perineum Massage: Gently run your hand down the penis base, over the scrotum, and massage the perineum. Some men prefer almost no touching there, some may be ticklish, and others thoroughly enjoy the feeling.

Taking the Hand-job to the Next Level: Now that the penis has been thoroughly massaged, move into the more erotic types of touch:

1.     Two Hand Squeeze: Grab the penis with both hands and squeeze with one, then with the other. Alternate squeezing without moving the hands on the penis.

2.     Fists Sliding up the Shaft: Grasping the penis firmly, start sliding one fist up the shaft, all the way over the head, then do the same with the other hand. Keep starting at the bottom and sliding up and over. Keep a steady speed but vary the pressure. Add a twist if you want.

3.     Fists Sliding Down the Shaft: Again, use the hand over hand approach, but start at the head and slide down the shaft. Squeeze tightly so the penis has to force into the fist. This feeling of endless penetration into a tight, vaginal-like space feels amazing.

4.     Alternating 3 Up and 3 Down: Use this double fisted approach for 3 up glides, then for 3 downward glides. Repeat, keeping the same speed but varying the pressure.

5.     Head and Frenulum massage: grip the shaft firmly with one hand, then use the other thumb and fingers to tickle and massage the head and frenulum. He will feel a great contrast between the firm pressure on the shaft from the one hand and the soft strokes to the highly sensitive head and frenulum. Work around the head. Try some thumb circles on the frenulum.

6.     Single Hand Up and Down Cycles: Grasp the shaft firmly and slowly move up to the head, then down to the base. Vary speed and pressure and try adding a twisting, corkscrew motion. Use both hands sometimes.

7.     Scrotum and Perineum Massage: When he gets close to ejaculating (an 8 on the 10 scale), move back down to scrotum and perineum massage. Try splitting your fingers into a peace sign and massage with a finger on either side of the scrotum in a back and forth motion.

8.     Combos: Massage the base of penis with one hand and the head with the other, or rub the perineum with one hand and corkscrew up and down the shaft with the other.

9.     Double-Hand Corkscrew: You can finish a hand job in many ways, but if you want it to end in ejaculation, it’s hard to beat the double hand corkscrew going from the head to the base. Again, grasp tight so it feels like he’s entering a vagina, then twist down the shaft. Keep the same motion as he ejaculates. Unless he moves away, let those amazing feelings ramp down slowly instead of disappearing immediately after ejaculation.

You can add infinite variations to the above, but if you use these ideas you will give a world class hand job. I doubt most guys would have ever been that creative (or loving) to themselves. And that’s the point, right?

[1] http://www.pleasuremechanics.com/.

[2] http://www.pleasuremechanics.com/foreplay-mastery/.